Assumption

I was once told that when we assume, we actually make an ass of u and me. Last week, i found out that its true. Assumption is a premise on which we seldom draw our conclusions. And, needless to say, one is left agape when the truth comes out.

A similar thing happened with me. I have this weird habbit of formulating a notion starting with an assumption, which at that particular time, seems obvious to me. There is a strange kind of fear that surrounds me when i start thinking about implication of something that i had not expected to happen. Normally, anyone would stop thinking about it and if need arises, deal with the repercussions as and when they happen. But, my mind can not let go anything without an analysis. So, it happens that i tend to think on it and start assuming all the negative impacts that it might have, to a point that they start appearing but natural to me and i start believing that they would be true. And in the end, when the moment of discocvery comes, i am left shocked when the eventuality is much more positive than i had thought it to be. Sometimes, i think its good because i am already prepared for the worst of all. But, at other times, i blame myself for all the pseudo analysis, and the attached tension. Well, as i see, i am a man of thinking. And i would die, when i stop doing that. And when somethings go against my expectations, my thought process concocts this chain of events, about which i am not happy, but feel relaxed on discovering that they were not true. :)

Dare to think evil?

A few days back, I was talking to a friend about how crazy we sometimes want to be. Before i could realize, she was telling me numerous instances where she and her friend had behaved weirdly, or done something which normal people would contempt doing. i was laughing, for a moment unable to connect with that kind of mischief, but yes found it intriguing enough to ponder for a while on whether i wanted to do similar crazy things. I recall from my childhood that i had never been the initiator of such pranks, never had wanted to do weird things or think about them either. I was, typically, a good student throughout school and college, who would just pop up with something every now and then, but never noticeable enough to attract applause from everywhere. You know, being a good student had its share of demerits. I never wanted my teachers to think low of me in any matter. And yet, i always longed to do something eerie just to prove them that they are wrong in whatever they think about me. I guess this conflict within myself always hindered me from being open to all, because i feared explaining such things to anyone. That was when i started doing a lot of talking to myself, telling myself that i was capable of doing anything that they TDH did. And that had a lot to do with the self consciousness that i was enveloped within, something self created within me which used to stop me from being that way. Now, at this juncture of life, i want to do all the things i should have indulged in doing at that time, but as someone has said "our actions are highly patternized, for we might think of doing something different every now and then, but the mind would eventually resist it, and would like to stick to its preformed pattern". I hope i break the pattern and appease my long felt desires some day soon. :)