I call myself immature....

Yes, thats true, i call myself immature, not because i am unable to think and act, but because i am not able to decide when is it worth thinking and when would it be better to let the moment pass by. These kind of decisions are the foundations of a strong and balanced mind, a mature personality, which i have concluded, i lack. A simple n plain interpretation of the same would be that i mix emotions everytime and warm up matters, when all i had to do was supress my emotions and let the moment pass by.

Well, i see people who are calm and composed and i envy them, envy the fact that they are able to handle situations so well, curse myself for some time, but then again follow my own track. May be, its a trait that we possess, which is very difficult to change - this is what i think to console myself, but deep inside i know that it just needs patience and perseverance.

I understand that people possess different emotion levels, according to which they react and think. Sometimes, my other half would insist that all this emotional hoopla is crap, but deep inside i know its not, because i carry it most of the times. Its difficult to explain in words what i feel at times, but when i do feel emotionally charged, i get that energy, that wisdom, that maturity, that change which i wish i could tap for my normal times. But, afraid to say that it ain't possible and i am left with some more emotional pondering - which starts with immature reaction but takes me to another world altogether, the world i feel the most confortable in, the world i would not mind staying the rest of my life in, the world which teaches me many things, explains myself to me, does a lot of wonderful things!!!