My Purpose of Blogging...

Lately, everybody around me had been giving me strange responses on the blog. I can categorize the responses into 1) I like your blog because its different from "what i did today" kinds usually people put up. 2) It seems you have ample time to interrogate yourself and write about the sad happenings in your life.

I was confused for a while, pondering over these two contrasting responses, when i realized the truth in its crude form. When i thought for a while, i could see that the people who were giving first kind of response are the ones who want to be in touch with their emotional self, who like to express their sentiments, and who are on the "relationship" vertex in the Action-Meaning-Relationship Traingle. Whilst the people who gave second kind of responses were action-packed.

I think i have already made it very clear through my posts, but would still repeat that my purpose of blogging is not to mention my daily life, or sharing news. The sole intention is to make myself feel happy about it, which is possible only when i touch my emotional chords. And Ergo, the content. I won't comment further.

Of Beliefs, Opinions and Characters....

Well, today i made one of the most shocking discoveries of my life. May be the year 2005 is meant for me to experience all kinds of unexpected behaviors from people whom i was looking upto for some reason or the other. The year started with something that proved out to be the biggest mistake of my life, and i thought i had learnt, but heck, that was not enough.

It so happens that the person whom i was looking upto at workplace, who according to me was the most dedicated, sincere and pure person, proved out to be something else. Well, i could have easily overlooked the story and sticked to my opinion, but there was a certain folly in the air, there was this inexplicable hint that supported the new unearthed line of thinking. I was shocked for a while, gaping into thin air, until the person who brought that piece of shock to me said "Rohit, remember that people are not always like what they appear at the outside". For her, it was a statement, but for me, it was all belief, analysis and understanding gone wrong. Every assumption trashed, all the feelings wasted, all the emotions dried.

For a moment i was cursing myself, until my room-mate brought me back by saying "how u know whether this is true? And why do u let such things affect you". I had the answer, had it close to my heart, near to my soul. I had always analyzed people and always categorized them as good or bad. Not that i wanted to, but my whole sensory self would urge me to categorize and trust, or discard. Looking back, this is what i had been doing all my life. I regret for it now, i regret for it after all this, but i wonder if there is any fault of mine. I wonder if i should stop doing it. I wonder if that would be a solution to my problems. I wonder if it would really give me piece. I wonder, i belive, i form opinions, analyze characters. Am i wrong?