Dare to think evil?

A few days back, I was talking to a friend about how crazy we sometimes want to be. Before i could realize, she was telling me numerous instances where she and her friend had behaved weirdly, or done something which normal people would contempt doing. i was laughing, for a moment unable to connect with that kind of mischief, but yes found it intriguing enough to ponder for a while on whether i wanted to do similar crazy things. I recall from my childhood that i had never been the initiator of such pranks, never had wanted to do weird things or think about them either. I was, typically, a good student throughout school and college, who would just pop up with something every now and then, but never noticeable enough to attract applause from everywhere. You know, being a good student had its share of demerits. I never wanted my teachers to think low of me in any matter. And yet, i always longed to do something eerie just to prove them that they are wrong in whatever they think about me. I guess this conflict within myself always hindered me from being open to all, because i feared explaining such things to anyone. That was when i started doing a lot of talking to myself, telling myself that i was capable of doing anything that they TDH did. And that had a lot to do with the self consciousness that i was enveloped within, something self created within me which used to stop me from being that way. Now, at this juncture of life, i want to do all the things i should have indulged in doing at that time, but as someone has said "our actions are highly patternized, for we might think of doing something different every now and then, but the mind would eventually resist it, and would like to stick to its preformed pattern". I hope i break the pattern and appease my long felt desires some day soon. :)