Torn...

Has it ever happened with you that you had doubted your best friend of some malice? or curtained intentions? How did it feel at that moment? Skeptic? Confused? And after that? Guilty? Remorseful? How do you draw that line between trust and fear? between faith and insecurity?

When recently i had to face such a situation, I was aghast. I could not decide, what to do? Believe my mind, which was coming up with logic against my friend, or trust my heart, deep inside which i knew that he/she could not lie or pretend in front of me. I was torn apart between these two opinions, when i decided to take things as they come. I chose to trust my mind first, and in doing so, I started feeling as if nobody could be trusted anymore.

But then, in a sudden moment of revelation, something struck me. And it was nothing but the fact that i could not keep my heart's point of view in isolation for a long time. It did come back, with logic which had evolved with the bond that I shared with him/her, and more popularly known as emotions and feelings. Yes, i could not suppress it for a long time, not with the person in concern. Its as if these strong feelings/associations that you have towards somebody get moulded into a patterns, any deviation from which is met with utmost resistance.

Life does become very difficult at times like this, when the two very important parts of you (yes, mind and heart) get at war, and you know that you would lose if you chose to go by any, because both are facts, one as a result of long friendship, and the other more short-term behaviour. And, in that moment you wish you didn't have to make this choice, that you could forget the incident as a bad experience, and continue having the same faith and trust in your friend as you had before, as if nothing had happened :-)