Self Goals

In life, every now and then, there are times when you are bogged down with its complications, struggling to find your way out, analyzing, and at most times, over-analyzing the facts and possibilities in front of you. But, amidst all of that, if you can drive your self-goals, you'd have the passport to your happiness. It sounds mean, but that is how we all are made.

For some time, imagine that whatever you do has no direct or indirect interest for you, would you still do it? I bet, no. Long back, a dear friend shared with me a story of woman in the desert with her small baby, stranded alone under the scorching sun, where her only chance of saving her life was to sacrifice the baby, and take his support to avoid the sand which would otherwise burn her. To my surprise, I was told that the lady, did that, and saved herself.

We are programmed to do things for ourselves. That does not necessarily has to mean that you don't care for your loved ones. It just means that out of all the time that you get, always spare some time for yourself, some time to work towards your goals, because otherwise you would be only fooling yourself.

Setting self goals is a continual exercise, and at various stages of life, one needs to assess their situation, and accordingly set the goals for themselves. These goals will help you drive yourself and your loved ones, and the closer you keep getting on achieving them, the better you'd feel. In the absence of self goals, you could expect restlessness and lack of purpose of being. And that is a very sad place to be. Try doing a rewind of your life, and think about people who are genuinely happy. You'd end up realizing that however small or insignificant, they do have some self goals that drive them. Because in their absence, its difficult to justify your being, and thus be happy.

The binding glue

You see a reality show where the participants are in tears when their performance is not great, or they are asked to leave. Or, when they burst out happily smiling on knowing they are safe or they did great. Just think about a show where the eliminated participant just leaves, without saying a word. Would you rather prefer that? Or would you prefer them expressing their feelings before they leave. Would you like seeing a reality show with just the tasks and no dialogues, no narratives. I bet no. What we like the most in reality shows is the bit that everyone is supposedly expressing the real thing, as it exists. There's always an argument on the construct of these shows, on how they are made/tweaked to increase the TRP's. But, the fact remains, people love seeing the natural expression, the impromptu feeling, the honest emotion.

In movies, the parts which get the most audience adulation are the ones where the protagonist displays the relevant emotion in the most fitting way. That which differentiates a good movie from a "not good" movie is how good is the expression of the relevant emotion, be it anger, love, regret, happiness, jealousy, sadness, fear etc. It is only then we are able to connect or relate with the character. It is only then we enjoy watching what they want us to see.

In books, be it a biography, a fiction novel or a non-fiction, that what grips a reader is the honesty of the emotions involved. The connect between the opinions, characters or plot is the emotional anchor on which the book is written. If these books we love reading didn't have one such anchor, they would all become a subject, a dead one.

Its only obvious that what makes people tick are these emotions. We survive because of them. Our lives rotate around them, and that is how we prefer living. They are the binding glue in our otherwise isolated lives.

Winning

Heart thumping. Blood gushing. Adrenaline pumping. Eyes rolling out. Mind numb. Every known part of human body relates with Winning in a very different way. And why wouldn't it? It is the most satisfying feeling, a journey is over, the destination has been reached.

It would be a lie if one says "Winning is a habit, it does not matter anymore," for everytime one pursues the objective, there is a new feeling, a new journey begins, a new target is set, a new strategy adopted, a new perspective brought in, new variables, new constraints, new challenges. Everything is new. And Fresh.

We associate this feeling with many dimensions of our lives. Be it winning a game of chess, beating everyone at gambling, setting new professional benchmarks, getting the love of one's life, Winning is the only end we want, Winning is the only feeling we pray we end with. Now, some say that what matters is not winning, but enjoying the journey. I disagree. Every known soul plays/works to win. It is that moment of complete pleasure that propels us to work hard, harder. Everything we do or think has only one goal in mind. Win. Win. Win.

Winning an argument, Winning someone's respect, Winning God's blessings, Winning a competion, Winning a game, Winning in your professional endaevours. Winning is the whole and soul behind every initiative. Everything else is a part of the package. Everything.

Survival of the fittest

You go to college, you make friends for life. Whatever you do, you do together. Play, Laugh, Study, Ramble, Bunk, Think, React. Everything is connected between you pals. Its a completely different feeling. And you get addicted to being together, being surrounded by people, always cheering, making fun, having a ball.

And then, later on in your life, when you sit alone in your room, with all the convenient things at your disposal, for which probably you would have struggled during the college days, do you feel happy? I bet no. You are so overpowered by a sinking feeling, nostalgia takes over you, and you start feeling that all this does not make much sense. A call from a friend, a distant gathering, a walk down the memory lane is enough to make you sad. All of a sudden you start questioning your life, your decisions, your present state, everything. And it becomes worse.

But, life takes it course. It shows you everything. The ups. The downs. The "happy" group hang-outs. The lonely days in a hotel lobby. It prepares you for everything. You have to be ready for change, which is a big thing for most human beings. Change. Different. Adaptability. Adjustment. Don't we so much want to avoid all of these? Don't we wish we could have the "perfect" life, with no changes? But, all this has a bigger picture I suppose. Life has a set path for us. It prepares us for any situation, and it believes in "teaching by doing" :) You would be thrown amidst a situation, and you got to learn. Adapt to Survive. Survival of the fittest. And the fittest is the one who takes all these changes with a smile. Who welcomes any situation, and takes every change as a learning, as a step towards his growth.

Its like going through a gamut of feelings, its like you don't know what to believe. Whether be positive, and confident about the change? Or regret it? It confuses you. Thats its job. But the one who moves on is the one who accepts changes fast. And makes the best out of it :)

PS: Hope I could do the same. Hope its for the best. Hope I survive :)

These old Sulkers :( :)

Ok. Take a deep breath. Put some swiss mocha frappe in your mouth, and repeat the "dum di dadi da" of Aqua's song "Roses are red" in your mind. Thats the way you cool down, from a day full of frustration, disgust and sheer annoyedness. Its become so usual these days, that I have started relating to these days as "sulkers," i really am afraid of them. The less of them, the happier I am. Not because I lose so much of my positive energy during these days, but also because I end up putting a lot of energy to get out of the "sulker." Like sitting at a Barista, sipping a coffee (which I am not really a fan of), trying to prove my point by blogging about it while pretending to enjoy the music of AQUA. 

It sticks. It really does. These sulkers are evil. Because, they won't let you think on anything else, or try to get rid of them. The moment you make a small effort to get out of the mode, they would rush back to you in a certain other form, an unexpected error, an uncontrollable mistake, an out-of-the-blue blunder, and you would be told on your face "THERE. HUH." 

Why do we (or is it just me?) have these sulkers? Ok, not a toughie. We ofcourse have them when things don't go according to us, when we can't see where things are going, when we are so unsure of anything and everything that we get anxious every now and then. Like when the car breaks down on a journey, and you feel sick of the fact that you are unable to move towards your destination, and you can't see when you would reach there either.

And then comes the solution. The TALK. The COFFEE. The MUSIC. And, the realization that it ain't that bad anyway. In good times, when I'm happy, smiling and confident, I often wonder about these sulkers? And, question why do I have to succumb to them? Why can't I face them directly on the face and thrash them, by not letting my mind be affected by them. But, the fact of the matter is that its only after i sulk do I get to thinking, talking and thinking, and it is then that I find solutions. It is only when i feel "enough is enough," that i get into the mode of "i need to solve it." May be I am wrong. May be not. But, thats how I am.

No matter how much I say I hate these sulkers, but they are always followed by success. For me. Always. And, I am so used to the success now, that i dare not change the way it is. And that is why I don't actually hate these sulkers :) 

PS: If you haven't noticed how I started with "why do these sulkers have to be there?" and I ended with "I actually am happy that i get these sulkers," then you are completely convinced by my logic. Otherwise, I don't really care :D

Hyderabad

Babu! Anna! Matladu! Chepu! Ray-taan! Cheque-an! Kitna Hona? Bhijata hun! Deta na main! Kiddar ku jaata? 4 days in hyderabad, and I have already heard these words enough number of times to have them registered in my cache memory :)

There are so many KFC's in this city. On my drive from office to home, i see atleast 3 of them, and have to control my temptation of digging into a zinger, courtesy my resolution to get slimmer.

There are more malls/retail outlets/pubs/restuarants in Hi-Tech city than IT offices :D

I get paranthas with curd, butter and sabzi for breakfast? Beat that?

The city is filled with "gudas," "purs" and "pets" (if you know what I mean :P)

I recently learnt that "nainu ninnu chimpastanu" doesn't mean "I Love you" :O It actually means "I will tear myself" :O :O :O

There's a type of paan called "Meenakshi," and the dosas aren't all that great here.

Every city looks so slow in front of Mumbai. So slow.

Cold War...

There are a certain people with whom you can never build a rapport. No matter how much you smile at them, or try to get into a polite conversation, they would always look down upon you as if you have been the reason why they lost their smile.

One such guy is the "toast wala" outside my office. Lets go back to a year and a half back, when i had first hit his shop for an obvious reason of grabbing a quick bite. Now, one of the reasons why you would eat a sandwich is that you want to save time and trouble of going to a restaurant. But, it wasn't so easy for me. I ordered the sandwich, and patiently waited. After some time, when I asked him about the sandwich, he gave me a "can't you see how much work I have?" look followed by a "dont dare ask about your sandwich again" frown. I was taken aback, and defended myself by saying "its been quite some time now," to which he refused to even react. I decided to stay calm, and waited for my sandwich to be prepared. Finally i ate it, and forgot the incident after a while.

But, next time I visited the shop, the same thing happened, only this time the owner gave me a "you always have to make a fuss out of everything" look and stared at me as if I was from some other planet. I was quiet this time, considering his shop had almost all of my office thumping here and there, trying to order or collect their sandwiches. Ever since then, I haven't been able to build a good rapport with this guy. Everytime I visit his shop, there's a strange exchange of looks that happens between the both of us. And although i try to politely ask doubts regarding the preparedness of the sandwich, he would almost always ignore me, or worse reply with an angry remark. So much so that now I have stopped trying. I just go order, and then wait outside until he or his helper calls me. Atleast I don't have to keep trying anymore. I know for a fact that this is it how its going to be. The "toast wala" and me are always going to be at a cold war, blaming each other for that first tiff, and hoping that we don't have to see each other. But, we both know we can't avoid seeing each other :)